Remember Cedric - o2

"Riiingmaasster... Waaaaaake uupp... Ringmasteeerr."

I groaned, turning over, trying to block out the sound. The voice continued in my head, and I moaned, turning around again, but I was facing upwards now. I closed my eyes tightly, too sleepy to figure out who was talking...

Boner.

I was on my two feet before someone could blink, "I'm up!"

Quinn was on the floor, "Ow..."

I scowled, "What did you do, Quinn?!"

"I was waking you up..."

"By grinding me?!" I yelped.

"It worked," Quinn stood up and shrugged, "So now that you've got your morning wood, how about some nice soothing sex?"

I recoiled in horror and Quinn burst out laughing, "I'm joking, honestly... Anyway, where were you yesterday? Came in around ten o' clock and you were trashed. Larra dragged you onto the couch... We couldn't find any bed."

"I don't have a bed..." I muttered, holding my head that had begun to show its first signs of a hangover.

"Why don't you...?" Quinn didn't finish his sentence, having thought better than to finish asking. Quinn ran a hand through his hair, "Well, I guess I should leave you. S'not like you're going to tell me anything you do."

"You look genuinely upset at this," I smirked.

"'Cause it's like you don't trust me."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't. Especially you."

Quinn cracked a grin, "See you 'round," he spanked my behind as he walked past me and I stood on end, frozen to the spot. Once he left I swore under my breath.

I looked at myself in a mirror, which was rusty and cracked down the middle. I looked terrible. My hair – which was already straggly – was knotted in every direction. At the back of my neck my hair formed into something that looked a bit like the beginning to dreadlocks. The skin on my face was waxy, rotting from the amount of smoking, drinking and drugs. And the fatigue around my eyes was now like grime.

I moaned and tried to flatten my hair with my fingers, but it hardly made a difference. Shame I didn't have at least a comb.

My clothes complimented my face, too. Crinkled, worn-out, old, in need of a change. I was getting worse. There was only so much you could do to keep yourself happy from death. Immortality has its down side.

I held the frame of the mirror and brought it down so it faced down on the tabletop. That was better. Now I didn't need to see myself...

My head was spinning even more now. I stumbled over to my cabinet and opened the top drawer, looking for some pill to numb the pain. I swallowed it without water and within a few minutes, felt a lot better.

I sighed and put on my top hat which, luckily, covered most of my hair, and walked out into the open air. I blinked a few times, trying to get used to the sun.

I had to get some money, I knew that, and also see Alyss again in the afternoon. She would find out he was murdered, but by who, she would never find that out.

I walked into the markets. It was a Monday morning now. Everyone would be here, buying galore. I just had to wait for some rich git to come and it would take hardly any effort to steal it from him. And, soon enough, I saw a tall lean man, the most expensive outfit of a suit. His hair was jet-black, short at the front, long at the back, one side with a curl. His long hair was tied back. His skin was the slightest bit grey, and he didn't seem very cheerful at all.

Perfect.

I walked up casually to him, pretending to be interested in a stall just past him, 'accidentally' bumping into him. He turned around, not too happy.

"Sorry, sorry, here, let me help you up. So silly of me," I brushed his shoulders with my right hand, and that was enough of a distraction to pick out his moneybag.

I turned, pocketing the moneybag and hiding back into the mass of people, before he found out that I was a cunning fucker who just stole his money.

I was about to head off, but a burly hand held my shoulder roughly. I winced, looking over my shoulder and seeing the man I had robbed from. He looked furious.

"Sir?"

"You bastard! You stole my money!" he raised his hand behind his face and brought it down full throttle towards my cheek, but I ducked just in time. He narrowed his eyes and attempted to punch me again but I dodged his aim and with a giant step of my long legs, found myself behind him. The man looked left and right, and stepped back, confused. He stepped on my foot and I jumped out of the way of both his fists this time.

A small crowd had made a circle around the two of us. I groaned. This was exactly what I didn't need right now: drawing attention to myself.

"I can quite assure you I didn't steal your money, but merely tripped into you accidentally. Are you sure you had your money before that?" I asked innocently.

"Don't try that tone with me! Cunning as you are, I can see you're scum! Just a commoner, liar, filth!" he tried to punch me again but I was too agile for him.

"Dad?" a boy stepped out of the crowd, looking both shocked and confused.

My jaw dropped. Cedric.

Suddenly I was thrown to the floor, pain surging through my jaw. I had lost my guard. I quickly picked myself up off the ground, and, taking one good lock at Cedric's face, I tipped my hat to his dad and ran as fast as I could away from the markets.

I heard him running after me but stopped not too long after, falling behind. I was too fast for him, and with those clothes on he wouldn't want them to get any sort of sweat on them. I ran down the middle of two shops and jumped over the wooden fence and into the backyard of one of the shops. From what I could tell, I was hiding out in a bakery. The courtyard was dilapidated and weeds were spurting out from the cracks in the tiles.

I glanced into the window of the bakery, noticing a girl inside, walking around, this way and that. Sighing, I looked around to see if there was any place I could hide in until I had a chance to escape back out.

Too late.

The girl opened the back door and was staring at me, quite befuddled as to why I would be in her courtyard.

"Hello dear. Sorry, I've got myself in a bit of a mess, do you mind?"

She gaped at me, unable to get words out.

"Well... Can I just go through to the front? You seem a little bit shocked..." I muttered, brushing past her.

"Sir, how did you get in?" she managed to splutter, asking my back as I opened the door.

"Jumped the fence, dear," I answered plainly, walking inside. I ignored the stares from two men and walked up to the front, jumping over the counter. A young woman was waiting there, and she glanced at me oddly as I passed her. She had long hair, deep red and very tangled. Her appearance however, was dampened by her scruffy dress, so I assumed she was poor, otherwise she would have been a pretty lady.

I opened the front door, and a small bell rang as I swung it open. I was just about to leave, when she said my name.

"Ringmaster?"

I turned on my heel, pushing my eyebrows together in complete astonishment. How does she know my name?

"You are... you are the Ringmaster, are you not?" she asked, staring at me even more oddly than before.

I nodded slowly, my lips suddenly glued together.

"Do you know Cedric?"

I nodded again.

"I'm... I'm Sephira. Cedric told me all about you, he said you were English, dressed in the exact clothes you're wearing now... Well, he said you looked... uh, more presentable," she said this all very nervously.

She paused, waiting for me to say something. Noticing my perplexed expression, she pressed on, "He said he met you when he was eight... And he saw you again, yesterday, and you looked exactly the same age as before."

My voice came back, "I keep fit," I croaked, the rug on the floor suddenly becoming very interesting.

"He wouldn't tell me why. He said you would kill him if he did tell me."

"Because I would," I muttered hoarsely, "Look... I have to go... I just robbed about two hundred francs from Cedric's father and believe me, next time he sees my face he is going to be the one doing the murdering around here."

Her mouth made the shape of an 'O' in surprise, "You... you stole from him?"

"I didn't realise it was him," I said irritably, "Now, I really have to be leaving..." I stepped out the door, but she called me back.

"Wait... did Cedric ever mention me before?"

I turned and grinned a grin that didn't reach my eyes, "Spoke about you just yesterday sweetie," I closed the door and ran for it.

I didn't stop running until I reached the trailer, and still, couldn't rest.

"Cedric!" I yelped, seeing the boy waiting at the door.

"Since when did you get a lock for this?" he pointed to the door.

"Out of the way," I growled, turning the key into it and rushing in, throwing the bag of money from my coat onto the table top. Money was no longer one of my high priorities anymore.

Cedric watched me as I ran around, trying to organise myself. Finally, I turned to him, "What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I had to come here, after I saw you with my dad. He was really angry, you know. He was swearing at you and everything, but you were..." he frowned, "really quick, and he basically lost your trail immediately. Anyway, while he tried to run after you I snuck off to try and find the trailer, since it was getting pretty dark yesterday so it took a while to find, but I found it, and five minutes later you turn up!"

"Yeah, I had found myself in the courtyard of a bakery with a young lady gaping at me as I walked by her and jumped over the counter. Oh, and just to add to the many stressful things going on in my life, your woman Sephira just so happens to be there and indirectly calls me scruffy, because I know she was thinking I look terrible."

"Uh... Ringmaster, you do look like shit..."

I rolled my eyes, muttering about not having a comb.

"But you saw Sephira?" Cedric asked more brightly.

"Unfortunately."

"What do you mean?" Cedric frowned, "Don't you like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her, Cedric, but women and me don't get along like they used to."

"What?"

I sighed, "Look, shouldn't you be going? You don't need to know that information anyway. I think it best if you go home, and possibly stay there and don't ever come back to me, ever again."

Cedric rolled his eyes, "Ringmaster, I know that you're probably in some really tough situation, I can tell. I mean, have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?"

At this point I glanced to the mirror that was face down on the table. Cedric noticed it too and winced, "Sorry. Look, but honestly, it looks like you haven't changed clothes for about a month, or even been near a bath for two months, adding to that," he cleared his throat, "But telling me to never see you again? You know that's not possible. Ring, I remember when I first met you. You didn't want to have anything to do with me. What do I do with this crying kid? You asked, and guess what? After a day or two I was learning the violin and you seemed pretty pleased with it. You actually smiled, and any sort of smile on you is rare."

"What's there to smile about if you're dead?" I asked quietly.

He sighed, "You're not dead. If you were dead you would be in a grave, or by now, just bones, maybe not even that. Like you said yesterday, you're still here because you have something worth living for. Why can't you just tell me what that is?"

I shook my head, "I can't."

"I'm not eight anymore! I'm seventeen! I can handle things now!"

I laughed, but it was empty and hollow, "I don't think you quite understand me. It is physically impossible for me to tell you what it is that I'm here for. Because to tell you that, I would have to explain my living life, how I died... I actually cannot say that anymore. It's too painful," I was fighting with my brain again, pushing away the thoughts of her. She kept on coming back.

Cedric was quiet for a while, "Ringmaster?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you ever love someone? When you were alive?"

I paused, thinking about it. Finally, I said, "I'll tell you how it happened. I'll tell you everything, but it'll mean you'll have to put the facts together yourself."

Cedric frowned, not understanding. He seemed even more puzzled when I walked over to a cabinet and pulled out about three bottles of whiskey and three bottles of vodka. I sat down in my armchair and began drinking. He'd understand...

Rosette was beautiful as ever. Her hair, a soft brown, long, it smelled sweet, just like her. Her eyelids were closed over her eyes, I was kissing her. Her lips were tender and moist. And my hands were on her breasts... Everything was perfect... Just us, in her room, the exhilarating feel of being with her, with her being mine... And they had no idea, her family had no idea...

-.-.

Oh God, they were going to hang me. Me! Oh God, they couldn't believe that I didn't do it... I didn't do it, I didn't, I didn't. Can't they even trust dear Rosette? She was with me right up until the performance. The body wasn't cold. Why am I going to die? I'm afraid of dying. Even her coaxing words and tender kisses don't reach me anymore. I'm feeling cold. Everything is so cold.

-.-.

They're all traitors. They killed me. It was their fault. I should get them back, it's their entire fault! I should go back, go back and murder them all. Their fucking fault. Their fucking fault! Hah, I am just like a ghost, haunting everyone who dared go against me. Couldn't they believe me? Oh no, 'course not, I'm a traitor, I'm supposed to be dead. Why am I not dead?!

-.-.

Everyone's dying around me. I collect them now. Only a few, I have four. They're all lost, not nearly as lost as I was. As I am. No, I'm sorted. I know my place. I'm never lost. I have a job now, I know what I'm doing. No I don't, what am I doing? I'm dying, and I'm already dead. Look at my eyes. They're empty.

-.-.

I miss her. Rosette, where are you? Why aren't you with me? You left me. No, I left you, didn't I? Oh, I miss you. I miss your sweet self, your lips, eyes, hair, cheeks, body... Rosette, Rosette, I love you. I love you, Rosette.

-.-.

It's been three hundred years now. I'm fine, I'm fine... Oh, find the girl now. She's going to die, they say. The undead, they know when everything will happen. They say she's a keeper. She'll get stabbed and raped, the poor thing... She's in France, I have to find her. Find her. Let nothing distract me.

-.-.

Who is this boy? Cedric Cedric, who are you? I don't know, you're in my nightmares now. No, are they nightmares? What are you doing? Why are you still here? You're confusing me. You're too young to understand... Go home, please go home. I'm sorry for helping you. I'm sorry for teaching you that violin, for coming back for you when I told you to leave, for getting you out of the rain, for everything, I'm sorry. I was lost. I'm never lost.

-.-.

Stop haunting me... No, the living never haunt the dead! Then why does this boy continue to find me? Who are you, kid? Stop growing up, it's becoming harder each time. I can't bear to see you anymore. You're getting older. Asking questions? Leave.

-.-.

I'M LOST. I'M DEAD. I'M IN PAIN. I MISS HER, CEDRIC, I MISS HER. YOU'RE SEVENTEEN. ALYSS IS FIFTEEN. I'M CENTURIES OLD.
She's dead. Rosette's dead. She died long ago. I miss her, Cedric, I really do...